Omg Please Help Me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[caelean1]

i have a history of depression and i tried to get help.ive had already 3 counselers and im only 14.it was so bad lastwinter that i was thinnking about killing myself(but i knew i would never actually do it) anyway my back was killing me so i stayed home 4 about 5 days and on the 5th day when my back felt better i left the house with my mom and dad and i felt bored.anyway i get home and my mom had her back turned and i just had a thought about me snapping her neck.but the thing is i love my mom so much i cant even describe it.and i know i would never actually kill her and i dont want to.but now i fel depressed and scared and im so scaqred to even look at my mom anymore.......SO PLEASE I ASK U.....has any one else EVER had these kinds of thoughts or is it just me....am i going crazy or is it just depression plz help me i cant look at my mom anymore........

[tater03]

You definitely to level with your Mom how bad it has gotten. The good think is that you are aware that there is a problem and now you need to get the help you need even if it means you need to check into some place until you get a handle on these feeling you are having.

[mollyL]

You know that you are in a bad way. You need to get yourself to your school counselor, doctor, or it that isn't happening you need to go to your nearest hospital to the Emergency Room and tell them exactly what you told us. Since you are a minor, they will call your parents if they're not with you; that's OK because you will have no chance to hurt her or yourself in the ER. You need to be in a safe place and under most likely some medication that will help you to understand what's going on with you, and so you can start healing. The thoughts about harming your mother are just thoughts, and you are a good person to realise you need help to get rid of them. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

[melissahp]

Do you have those thoughts in other situations (pushing someone in front of a car etc.,) because this sounds like an intrusive thought that could indicate the start of OCD. I'm not giving out any diagnosis based on one thought u described one time, because I'm not a professional, but I have OCD and this is typical.

OCD is an anxiety disorder (and it sounds like youve been having lots of anxiety lately) the key here is that you had an unwanted intrusive thought, which caused you a lot of anxiety and the fact that you recognize you dont want to do it is proof that you wont actually do it. your a good person and you know it. I would bring OCD up so your therapist might screen you for it and tell her/him what you posted on here as well. Also there is no need to have "classic" symptoms like washing hands to have OCD sometimes its purely intrusive thoughts and the good news that if its diagnosed as OCD you can get specific treatment whereas the other treatment may not have worked because it didnt target OCD (if it really is OCD)

good luck and keep posted!

[dani42]

It's not just you that have these thoughts but you need to find out what is causing you to have these thoughts about your mom. you need to go and see your dr. and tell him or her what is going on and hopefully you can get some help other then concellors. my heart goes out to you cause having these feelings at such a young age is not good. i am older and sometimes everyday stress does get to me but i have learned over the years how to deal with it and i do have medication to help me. i hope this helps you!

[crzasian2008]

you are not alone. there isn't a single person I don't want to kill! top of that list is myself. however since no one will put me out of my misery, why should I put them out of their's? why should you?

[l_b_rex]

I think an important question is when you thought about "snapping" her neck did you feel like you were being drawn in to do it? If it just passed through your mind than it may not be an issue at all. I watch a lot of horror and gore movies and I have had the same idea pop in my head before. It was because they were in a vulnerable position. I think it is good to talk to a professional for sure becase it made you feel the need to make this post. If you ever catch yourself moving in closer with that thought in your head than seek help fast. All the best to you.

[comfortlife]

You need serious medical attention my friend , good to know that you are aware of the fact, please talk to your parents and consult any good psychiatrist, you are not going to be crazy but you should go for medical help immediately...