Do you have those thoughts in other situations (pushing someone in front of a car etc.,) because this sounds like an intrusive thought that could indicate the start of OCD. I'm not giving out any diagnosis based on one thought u described one time, because I'm not a professional, but I have OCD and this is typical.

OCD is an anxiety disorder (and it sounds like youve been having lots of anxiety lately) the key here is that you had an unwanted intrusive thought, which caused you a lot of anxiety and the fact that you recognize you dont want to do it is proof that you wont actually do it. your a good person and you know it. I would bring OCD up so your therapist might screen you for it and tell her/him what you posted on here as well. Also there is no need to have "classic" symptoms like washing hands to have OCD sometimes its purely intrusive thoughts and the good news that if its diagnosed as OCD you can get specific treatment whereas the other treatment may not have worked because it didnt target OCD (if it really is OCD)

good luck and keep posted!