no motivation anymore.

[m20]

I'm not sure if what I'm going through is depression... It's been a few years now and I feel like I still have no one to talk to about how I’m feeling. I guess in a way I'm too embarrassed to go to anyone. It all started when I lost a family member. The idea of death really scared me, I ended up having really bad panic attacks just thinking about it. I couldn't even leave my house some days. I drank and did a lot of drugs to try and "escape reality". I graduated high school two years ago. I want to go to college but I really don't know what I want to do. My family isn't exactly financially secure so to me it's a pretty big decision. I lost another family member and my job this year for honest mistakes. It sometimes feels like the world is just constantly shitting on me, I really haven't had anything good happen to me in ages. I have nothing going for me, no job, not going to school, no car. It really sucks. My dad constantly puts me down about it and we get in huge arguments. I feel like most days I just want to be alone and I don't even know why. I'm in a rut and I can't get out. Does anyone have any advice or tips?

[Danny1]

Sometimes being alone is good for the body my friend , your not alone out there I myself have been in the same situations try to figure out a job that you want or that your good at that will make you happy plus it keeps you away from always having to put up with arguments with your dad. Just because you don't have a great job nor car or you're not going to school makes you in a rut it means your looking in the wrong direction and it will come to you one day soon. Every Day is a new Day .

Every second you dwell on the past you steal from your future. Every minute you spend focusing on your problems you take away from finding your solutions. I believe that we all stand on the eve of greatness. We can choose to hear those who doubt us, or instead listen to those who believe in us!!

Hope this helps .