back to work . . . eek!

[taisha]

hello all, I'm a newbie to this forum, but I needed somewhere to express my thoughts, so here goes.

I have been off work for anxiety/depression for almost a year and I am supposed to go back in about a week or so. My meds and I have been doing really well for the past 3 months or so, but since this back to work thing started becoming more of a reality I've been not feeling so great. I even cried a couple of times this week, and I haven't done that in ages. (except for sad movies of course

I am very scared that when I go back that I will fall apart again . . . I know this is negative, unhelpful thinking but I can't help it - it keeps creeping into my thoughts every now and again. I was wanting to go back on a gradual return to work but they were 'unable to accommodate a gradual return' - what a crock of you-know-what.

It angers/saddens me that our "disability" is not recognized as a "real disability" - If I had broken some kind of bone, then I'm sure they'd bend over backwards to help me return to work - unfortunately my "scars" are internal and not so much healed as managed.

But on the other hand I am getting bored . . . there are only so many things I can cook/clean/look up on the internet etc. I want to go back to work, I'm just not so keen on jumping in the deep end, I'd rather wade slowly out to it.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences they'd like to share regarding return to work? good or bad - you can learn through both

xo taish

[taisha]

Originally Posted by Franky Keats

HI Taisha! It’s great that you have made it and will be back to work within a week. Don’t let any negative thoughts block your way. Make it a fresh positive start.
Sadly, the internal injuries take a lot of time to heal and sometimes they are just buried under layers of time. Nobody but you- the person himself can take care of his/her internal feelings and emotions. You will definitely get over this phase just keep moving on.

Unfortunately this story does not have a happy ending. I went back to work for my first full day, as they would not agree to a gradual return, and I was terminated. Sooo I was pretty upset, and mad, and disgusted. I cried a bit, texted my friends, called my husband and family - they were all appalled and said all the right things. And then I was ok . . . that was the best part. Dont' get me wrong I dont' think it's ok that they fired me and having never been fired before it was kind of a blow to the ego, but I did not crash down into the pits of depression. And the fact that I didn't do that has made me very happy, because I was worried about not being able to handle life and damn it, I handled it. It's been 2 weeks and I've been looking for a job, have had a couple of interviews and am feeling very positive about the situation. I was not in love with my job before, so here's an excellent opportunity to find something that I like more.

But this leads to the current issue on my brain - Employers and mental illness . . . according to the Human Rights Commision employers should do everything they can to aid you unless it causes them undue hardship - this being an issue with the way the business is run or a monetary issue. I'm pretty sure that that is not happening in the majority of workplaces. And how exactly to do we get this to change . . . any ideas?