im depressed and going help today.. a little scared

[Kever]

Yesterday i called this help line and talked. Im a Veteran and they even had an option on the pressing key line thing. Looking back ive been depressed for close to 10 years. Really bad this last year. I have chronic pain and smoke dope to deal with it. It really helps with the pain but it kinda f**** with my head. I think im scared to go today because there going to try and get me to deal with the drugs. But regardless im not going to stop. I can't deal with the pain day in and day out. When i was in the army my pain was treated well. Never any problems. After i was released i had no doctor and you can't get pain meds from going to a clinic or what knot so i started dope...

The pain is not the reason im depressed, its part of it though maybe