Just to prevent people, I am not a native English speaker, sorry for any mistakes, but I think you will understand our situation anyway.
I am a 30-year-old mother of a 14-year-old girl (I am mentioning her age, in case it might help you understand the situation … maybe?).
I must say, I have an amazing relationship with my daughter. We never hide stuffs from each other, we spend most of our times together, we do everything together, etc … to her, I am her best friend (and she is mine too). I consider myself lucky for raising her by myself, since it makes our relationship stronger.
Lately, I noticed a change in her behavior. It all started last week, when she was doing her homework in my room while I was doing some paper work. All of a sudden, she covered her ears and starting acting as if there was a loud noise in the house, while it was pretty quiet. When I asked her what was wrong, she asked me to “make them stop.” I still don’t understand what she meant by it, but all I did is covered her ears until she calmed down. It lasted maybe two or three minutes and after that, everything changed.
She is so calm and quiet. She used to be a loud diva, full of energy, always talking or goofing around. But now, she doesn’t even talk to me. (Something we do every single hour.) When I pick her up after school, she would usually talk about those teachers she hates and just go on and on about her day … but now she does nothing. She just sits quietly and looks through the window. I tried to get her attention by holding her hand, but she didn’t even react to it. She just looked at me for a second (with a smile tough) then shifted her attention back to the window.
At nights, she would come to my room and talk to me until we both fall asleep, but these days, all she does is cuddle with me, silently, then fall asleep at a pretty fast rate.
She doesn’t look depressed or anything. She smiles most of them time but … she is not ... there. The daughter I know is not there. When I talk to her, it takes time for me to get an answer from her. When I ask her to do something, it takes time before she gets it. She is really calm most of the time. Some other times, she does the same thing as she did before, cover her ears and act as if someone was shooting at her. (She rocks herself while doing that … I don’t know if you get it).
I don’t know what I can do. I don’t even understand what is happening. I thought she was playing around, but the principal and the nurse from her school called and told me that they didn’t allow her to enter class because she had a major meltdown n the morning, last Friday.
The weirdest thing, when I came to pick her up after that, she was smiling and stayed quiet for the whole day (I am serious .. she didn’t talk for 24 hours), as if nothing happened.
Today, I decided to take a day off from work and to keep her home. I really wanted to spend time with her and desperately wanted an explanation for her weird behavior.
It all started pretty normally, even though she was quiet most of the time. I thought about what some people said … maybe it was teenage moodiness. When I was pregnant of her (I was a teen), my mother and I were not as close as we used to be, and I would always stay silent when I was near her.
After lunch, we decided to go nap in my room (it was raining a bit and she loves to listen to the rain… and she looked pretty tired.) I thought everything was going to be okay but suddenly she decided to get herself out of my arms and started screaming “you hate me, you hate me!”
She ran to her room after that. I can’t stand having my daughter mad at me (it may be normal that a child get mad at his parents from time to time, but I really can’t stand it.) Even though I did nothing wrong, I just needed to clarify everything.
When I entered her room, she was crying with her hands on her ears. She was violently shaking (probably because she was crying) and it scared me to see her like that. Obviously I went to calm her down, and now everything “is back to normal.” She is back to her quietness and is smiling most of the time.
It’s weird, since it lasted only 5-6 minutes. And right after it, she came back from the calm girl she now is. Even though I want my loud daughter back, I still rather have her calm than … “crazy”.
It is the second time, but this time was scarier to me. I don’t know where she got the “I hate her” thing, but she looked serious and hurt when she said that. I seriously thought it was maybe teenage moodiness but now I am lost.
While writing this, we are watching TV and she doesn’t even react to her favorite TV shows. She just sits there and watches the TV quietly, sometimes with a smile on her face.
I wanted to visit a doctor, but due to her age, she can decide whether or not she wants to and she told me she was fine (when clearly, she isn’t). I must admit, I find her so cute because she reminds me of when she was younger (quiet and always smiling.) But I miss my loud daughter so much. I want her back.
What is it, seriously? Can it really be schizophrenia, bipolar syndrome or anything else? I hate seeing my daughter like this … I love her so much.
Please help me !