I f you really want to change your self , I mean if you really do then at first get rid off alcohol,it is not your friend and everyday it's ruining your mind...society is a very complex thing to understand and believe me if you want to get back to your normal life, then stop thinking too much about this...I think you have been surrounded by bad companies all these years..leave them,start listening to good songs, tunes than can heal your mind and the go back to your doctor,unless you leave your bad habits, your doctor won't be able to help you.