It's getting harder to deal with depression

[Flint]

I've been dealing with depression for the better part of my life, as far back as I can remember early childhood. This shit just getting harder to get though as I get older. I'm 29 now I was diagnosed with depression in my preteens after my family had driven me to my first suicide attempt. I can't stand all the quacks out there, every one I've seen always seems to be more interested in texting on their cells, reading their email/stock/magazine or eating their fucken lunch and saying "uh-huh?" like a retard every fucken 3-5 seconds to seem like they are paying some kind of attention. All this shit is just pissing me off, getting any kind of treatment is bigger pain the ass then just living with depression. My drinking habbits have been getting worse, it dose help temporarily but it's no solution. I've been out of work since the recession even then I never had a drug plan and living from check to check stressed out to the point I was going to kill my self and/or others. Even so the family doctor I had would only give Zoloft and the clinic doctors are even worse 5mg of sugar pill and I'm pretty sure it's just a sugar pill I was up to 2000mg x 5 times a day( I'm 5'7' and 170 pounds and popping the shit like tictacs) and didn't do shit for me stopped taking it cold turkey was warned about side effects nothing happened fucken sugar pill! Only thing that sickens me more then having to live my life in depression is knowing there is no help in the province where I live and can't afford to move to some other provenance where I could maybe get some kind of treatment or lobotomy or something I don't give a shit any more.

[Flint]

when I was child my mother(came from a inbred family from a small island off the coast of Croatia) was convinced that I would turn out like her schizophrenic brother and would thought if she kept beating me every day that I would turn out right, my sister who is 12 years older then me (and still to this day) hates me for being born.Going to school I was the outcast if any one wanted to fit in at school all they would have to do beat me up and torment me to gain acceptance from the rest of the students. I'm sorry that I came into is world I really wish I had not come into this world and I wish I had the courage to end my meaningless existence much,much earlier I've wanted to kill my self since I was a child before my teens . Had I not been born I would have not been physically and verbally abused by my mother and sister and had to grow up in hell.Even after mother had passed away in '95 I was not free, my sister convinced my father that only way for me to snap out of depression was with psychological abuse and that was the only way to help me(at this point she had finished from University of Toronto with a masters in psychology. She knew what she was doing and pushed me to try to commit suicide so that I'd be gone). Now I'm 29 years old and have had 4 suicide attempts and if I saw my sister right now I would beat her to death and leave her to die because thats what she deserves , that won't happen since I don't see her any more and I'll be long dead before that happens.
I'm damaged as a person and there really is no help for some one like me other then death. Talking is just that, talk, It doesn't help and doesn't take away the 20 years of pain and abuse. I live in Canada, Ontario and there is NO mental health care, just some over payed "yes men" that agree to what ever your problem is. Talking to a counselor or psychologist is like talking to a wall or brick of cheese, they don't care if they help you or not they get payed by the government regardless of if their doing their jobs or not which is why I never got any help, they would be too busy texting on their blackberrys or eating lunch and checking their stock prices online, no one ever hears what I have to say, I have no voice in the world . In todays world and for the most part there is no help unless your dumb enough to believe total bullshit that you can pretend to be happy and like it. The best the metal heath science can do is turn a miserable person into a unhappy person, and I'm just tired of being unhappy.
Goodbye and hope to see my "family" burn in hell.

[bobs69]

hey Flint are you still out there?

[jimcarter]

Recovering from depression requires action. But taking action when you’re depressed is hard. In fact, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, like going for a walk or spending time with friends, can be exhausting.
1) Cultivate supportive relationships:
Turn to trusted friends and family members
Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it.
2) Take care of yourself:
Do things you enjoy (or used to)
Adopt healthy lifestyle habits
Fight depression by managing stress
3) Get regular exercise :
yoga
power yoga
stress yoga
4) Eat a healthy, mood-boosting diet:
Don’t neglect breakfast
Don’t skip meals
Minimize sugar and refined carbs
Boost your B vitamins
Practice mindful eating
5) Challenge negative thinking:
Think outside yourself
Replace negatives with positives
Socialize with positive people
I think this might help in overcoming your depression.

[kevinbrown10]

Flint I know you are in great depression but the words which you are saying is not the solution. This type of mentality will create trouble for you more and more so the best approach which I think to sacrifice this mentality. I know this would not be so easy for a person who is in great depression. First tell me one thing that are you getting depressed by seeing others peoples and by their lifestyle? Or it is something else. I want to tell you that your problems is just due to the circumstances in which you had lived in. do not feel frustrate by seeing others. Just learn that they are living their life in a happy way and that is what you should try to do. You are now 29 years old and I think you are now independent so why you are feeling depressed now. Past things have gone now so better to forget them all. If you can’t keep yourself happy then I think then nobody can. Just do whatever you like to do in your life. Forget what others think about you and how they treat you.

If still its hard for you to be free from all that then you can do one thing. Change your world! Change all those things by which you feel depressed. New things will work for you as I believe.