Should I call Children's Services?

[Jamie]

I know this family, and schizophrenia runs in the family. The mother continously gets taken away to an institution cause she refuses to take her medication. She is dangerous.

The mother recently took custody of her daughter, because her father refuses to take care of her anymore. She is completely out of control. She is 14, drinks, smokes, and god knows what else. She is so clearly not right. I've witnessed her bang her head on a bar, cause she was upset. I asked her why she was upset and she didn't know. (Clearly paranoid too)

She has gotten 10 times worth, even going as far as making a camp fight in her bedroom. She burned all her sisters pictures, because she was mad at her. Her mother and grandparents simple say, "Girls will be girls" and take her out on a shopping spree or out to dinner.

I'm sick of this. When I am near her, I'm literally scared. She is clearly dangerous, and it's impossible to tell what she is going to do next.

Do you think I should call Children's Services? They are not taking care of her mental state. What should I say to them?

[justontime]

If the mum has only just taken responsibility for the girl you can hardly blame her for the child's behaviour, she could be trying her best to help. If she has schizophrenia, ordinary life will be a struggle at times so she will need lots of understanding and encouragement re parenting issues. Please don't be cross with the mum for sometimes not taking her meds properly. It is very common that when people with schizophrenia start to deteriorate they will refuse their medication, it is because they are not thinking straight and they can't accept that they need them. It is part of the condition and not the person being deliberately obstinate. If you are a friend of the family you may be in a good position to encourage the mum to call children's services herself and request more help and support for her daughter.

Think carefully about your reasons for feeling you need to call children's services. Write a list of points of concern to get your thoughts in order. Be absolutely sure that you are doing it for the sake of the child and not because you are angry with the family for some other reason. When you look at the issues written down in a logical order I think it will help you to know what to say when you make the call.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by justontime

If the mum has only just taken responsibility for the girl you can hardly blame her for the child's behaviour, she could be trying her best to help. If she has schizophrenia, ordinary life will be a struggle at times so she will need lots of understanding and encouragement re parenting issues. Please don't be cross with the mum for sometimes not taking her meds properly. It is very common that when people with schizophrenia start to deteriorate they will refuse their medication, it is because they are not thinking straight and they can't accept that they need them. It is part of the condition and not the person being deliberately obstinate. [1] If you are a friend of the family you may be in a good position to encourage the mum to call children's services herself and request more help and support for her daughter.

Think carefully about your reasons for feeling you need to call children's services. Write a list of points of concern to get your thoughts in order. [2]Be absolutely sure that you are doing it for the sake of the child and not because you are angry with the family for some other reason. When you look at the issues written down in a logical order I think it will help you to know what to say when you make the call.

[1]There is no way I could encourage her to her call for help. She'd probably try and kill me. (And that's not a joke) She thinks she is the perfect mother. Plus, this child is just as bad as her mother. She starts fight cause she is paranoid. She thinks everyone is out to get her.

[2] I've been thinking about calling for some time now. Almost 3 years to be exact. When I first met her I noticed she was different, but we got along. Then out of no where she would start fights over things I've never even heard about. The one time I remember the thing she started a fight over me with, was actually in a movie we had watched the day before. It was like she convinced herself she was the character in the movie.

This child is getting completely out of control. She is making fires in her bedroom! And the mother doesn't care. There is so many things going on, she needs help! She needs discipline, but more importantly, she needs to get her mental illness treated! Her father couldn't even handle it.

[katharina]

Originally Posted by Jamie

[1]There is no way I could encourage her to her call for help. She'd probably try and kill me. (And that's not a joke)

I'm not understanding why you're around these people if they scare you and you're worried for your safety.

There is so many things going on, she needs help! She needs discipline, but more importantly, she needs to get her mental illness treated! Her father couldn't even handle it.

Have you thought about talking to the father re: calling someone to help the girl? They'd probably step in quicker if it's his request anyhow. Any why would he send her back to the mother instead of trying to get help for her?

[mollyL]

Maybe I'm being arbitrary, but if you feel that this girl is in physical, mental, or any other kind of danger, call.

[justontime]

Jamie, I think you have your answer, you need to make the call. If you are afraid for your safety, keep your distance, nobody expects you to put yourself at risk.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by katharina

I'm not understanding why you're around these people if they scare you and you're worried for your safety.



Have you thought about talking to the father re: calling someone to help the girl? They'd probably step in quicker if it's his request anyhow. Any why would he send her back to the mother instead of trying to get help for her?

I'm not around these people anymore. I was for too long. They are out of my life now, thank god. But through friends I hear constant stories. I'm a good friend of her sister, and she is always so upset when she comes back. (sister lives with dad)

The father tried to help her, but she was so far out of control. He was having his problems at the time. (Going to AA meetings and quiting drugs) And her coming home at 4am in the morning, etc, he couldn't deal with it. He spoke to her a million times, he got others, and she'd be good one morning, then transform back into a monster.

I admit, sending her there was a bad idea. She has gotten so worth. She was once a good friend of mine, and it hurts me to see her become so dangerous and out of it.

[katharina]

Originally Posted by Jamie

I'm not around these people anymore. I was for too long. They are out of my life now, thank god. But through friends I hear constant stories. I'm a good friend of her sister, and she is always so upset when she comes back. (sister lives with dad)

Good to hear you're not around that environment any longer. I hope the girl is able to get some help before it's too late for her (or for someone else)

[ironmike]

Originally Posted by Jamie

I know this family, and schizophrenia runs in the family. The mother continously gets taken away to an institution cause she refuses to take her medication. She is dangerous.

The mother recently took custody of her daughter, because her father refuses to take care of her anymore. She is completely out of control. She is 14, drinks, smokes, and god knows what else. She is so clearly not right. I've witnessed her bang her head on a bar, cause she was upset. I asked her why she was upset and she didn't know. (Clearly paranoid too)

She has gotten 10 times worth, even going as far as making a camp fight in her bedroom. She burned all her sisters pictures, because she was mad at her. Her mother and grandparents simple say, "Girls will be girls" and take her out on a shopping spree or out to dinner.

I'm sick of this. When I am near her, I'm literally scared. She is clearly dangerous, and it's impossible to tell what she is going to do next.

Do you think I should call Children's Services? They are not taking care of her mental state. What should I say to them?

I'm curious how the story turned out. It's been two years.

Cut to: present day.

-Father just finished running his first marathon.
-Mother now teaches grade 5 at Lochside Elementary.
-Daughter now works for the David Suzuki Foundation.